As you might have noticed, I don't really blog here. But I'm getting back to writing!
Enough naive vulnerability to a world of wolves and demons. Here is the summary or "review" of the book I talked told you about. You can find a more unbiased not-so-focused -on-love version on wikipedia. First of all..Let me show you the genius behind why praying things away and praying for things to happen is FUTILE:
"So if your goal is to avoid pain and escape suffering, I would not advise you to seek higher levels of consciousness or spiritual evolution. First, you cannot achieve them without suffering, and second, insofar as you do achieve them, you are likely to be called on to serve in ways more painful to you, or at least demanding of you, than you can now imagine."Bless you for that liberation. Now we are getting somewhere.Kay.. Basically this is it. ( Thanks to all my friends for being there for me when I needed to discipline myself or NOT.. depends from doing what eh>? ;))
According to the author Peck peck whatever.....
Because living requires facing difficulties and pain, which we would rather avoid, self-discipline is required. Such discipline involves, among other learning to delay gratification, to spend the time and effort necessary in order to solve the problem at hand, to accept personal responsibility as well as acknowledge the reality of the situation.
Life is DIFFICULT. ACCEPT IT. IT WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE ALWAYS HAPPY. Life is a series of problems and these problems need to be confronted for us to grow spiritually just like students need to solve problem sets in elementary to go to highschool and that's the only way theyt will learn. Problems in life "evoke in us frustration or grief or sadness, anguish or despair." Yet it is in facing these problems that we gain wisdom, strength and courage.
"This tendency to avoid problems and the emotional suffering inherent in them is the primary basis of all human mental illness." Hence, drugs, alcohol, anti depressants and even like double personalities and psychosis.
According to the book,Love is not a feeling, but an activity, and defines it as "the willingness to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one's own and another's spiritual growth." He bemoans the rampant notion of romantic love that pervades society today, which holds that one is not truly in love unless one feels those incredible "I'm in love" feelings that we all know so well. He observes, "Many, many people possessing a feeling of love and even acting in response to that feeling act in all manner of unloving and destructive ways. On the other hand, a genuinely loving individual will often take loving and constructive action toward a person he or she consciously dislikes..."
Now this part makes me glad I'm a science student...
He teaches to be suspect of the familiar "in love" feeling for two reasons: 1) "The experience of falling in love is specifically a sex-linked erotic experience," which he believes may be genetically coded in us to insure the perpetuation of the species; and 2) "The experience of falling in love is invariably temporary...the feeling of ecstatic lovingness that characterizes the experience of falling in love always passes."
Ok I have a question..
DOES SEX IMPOSE ON US THE FEELING OF COMMITMENT AND LOYALTY TO THE POINT THAT GIVEN THE SAME SITUATION W/O THE SEX.. YOUR FEELINGS TOWARDS THE PERSON ARE LESS INTENSE AND LESS "PASSIONATE"?
Is Sex a rope around our neck that drags us down the path of illusions just because of the moral humanbeings we are? Regardless of it's intensity, great or not great sex.. the act of surrendering to another human is a statement... it's surrender, and for a woman it's more like it's the giving of herself with her life and all there is in it to a man? I wonder how many relationships end, or never get started, because the partners feel genuine connection and communication together, but don't feel "in love." Considering the drastic change in the sexual environment in these days of AIDS and stupid people around.. Ok enough Tammy Paranoia.. Let's get back to love and real love.There is nothing like reading the book but I'll try to show u the good stuff..The "Myth of Romantic Love" is often what lead people to heartache and despair later on in life. These fairy-tale followers often try to conform their lives to the myth of the fairy-tale. "...they still cling to the myth and attempt to conform their lives to it". If one goes through life thinking that love is the end all be all, then nothing else will matter to them, which would finally bring everything to a crashing halt once love walks into the picture. Peck peck thinks a person could truthfully ruin their life by putting everything on hold for love. Love is also a job. True love does not come easy and has to be worked on in order for it to be successful. Love will not last forever without it being worked upon. Especially in long-distance relationships. If two people claim to love each other they try to work out their relationship even though they are not close to each other physically. Society is far off in its "definition" of love because many still believe in the fairy-tale of the man or woman riding in on the white horse. This type of loving is known as dependent and is not healthy. It is most commonly found in people searching for love. ( SO DON'T SEARCH!!!) There are hundreds of men for one woman and vice versa it is BULLSHIT that there is only one woman for one man. Ok Peck peck stresses that love is NOT a feeling. Ok I have a problem here... what the hell have I been going thru??? So I beg to disagree, Love is a feeling, because I feel love is the strongest feeling that a person can feel and if it is true love then it can last forever. I think love is a feeling because when you love someone, you get feelings in your body and mind. Thinking about a person can bring on a wave of softness that is often described with love. ( Although it has proven to be the opposite for me I don't believe love is to blame.) Kilig and butterflies in ur tummy pala? These are all feelings and are often experienced in conjunction with love. The road less traveled is a masterpiece. Slap on the face yet an "ohhhh..... so that's why?" kinda book. I recommend next for those who need some maturity and responsibility in their lives ( we all do) May God enlighten those souls.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Entry of a long lost diary
She sat there wondering what had brought her here, is what she is doing right? Who decides what right and wrong is anyway? And if her judgment is impaired like what he tells her because of her sheltered life and young age, where should she seek the truth? Her parents are living in another world, and she is almost certain of what their reactions would be, there is no point in letting them in on her secret. They will do more harm than good. Better leave her parents out of it this time. They just won’t understand.
But wait a minute maybe her mother will? A mother is a mother after all and her mother planned her life step by step starting from place of birth .That is just it! She can’t tell them, she could lose the only thing that might be right in her life and she can’t afford the risk of losing him. Yes, her mother will be devastated when she finds out that her worst nightmare has become a reality!! But she will get over it one day and her dad? Well he is a kind soul, mainly just existing and almost with no say on anything, whatever mom says is probably what goes in the end so what is the use?!
It is a matter of where she belongs. Where does she belong? There has never been a harder situation on earth, Arabia and the West. The conflict is at its peak these days and there is no escape from that. A choice has to be made and her heart is hanging on to both worlds. “you must give something up” he firmly tells her, “You can’t keep both worlds, you will lose them both in the end” Choose what you think God wants for you and he will lead the way”. She chose what God wants a long time ago. In fact, it is now that she feels that she is so far from God. Could they be right? The friend she had, the constant companion she relied on in good and bad times, could it be true? That wasn’t God? Is God so hard to talk to? Does she have to go through so many rituals, find the perfect spot, dress a certain way, and wash a certain way to reach out to him? Was she being disrespectful and maybe a little proud when she just cried out for God in the wrong places? Where does she belong? Why is she alone now? She closes her eyes and drifts in the past, to a happier place where things were simple and life was good.
Was she living a lie? Or is she just wiser now? Seems like the older you grow the more you belong to more things and the more complicated it gets, Where were the days when she belonged to her family, her college, her class, her friends? 6 years ago she would jump for an atlas each time somebody asked her where she was from and proudly point to the Arabian Peninsula , recite a little Arabic while everyone would listen in owe trying so hard to imitate her , she would tell stories of a thousand and one nights , ones that her Grandmother used to tell her before she went to bed, her audience marveled at the beauty and mystery of the east . She was a smart child; she would geographically track civilization’s history from the Hanging Garden’s of Babylon to the pyramids of Egypt. Where is that little girl? How could she leave her? The only source of freedom and joy is now dying. She needs her back! But how can she bring her back? It is just too sad in her world now; she herself would feel sorry for the little girl if she comes back. Maybe he is right; she needs to toughen up that little girl. Things are different now, instead of telling stories about Aladdin and Jasmine, people are attacking her with stories of Bin Laden and Terror , More frequent than not she finds her self amidst talk that is bigger than her, bigger than she can handle, why are there wars? Why is there hate? Why? Why? So many questions, but who can answer? Her mother says it is hopeless, her father says it is all politics , but she thinks it is all in their minds and longs to go back where sex, race and religion don’t matter. Were we are all citizens of the world and all we want is to live and let live . Humanity is the common denominator. How Simple!!! Why doesn’t the world get it?!?! She just can’t figure it out.
All she knows is that no longer do maps and boarders define people’s limitations, no longer is language an excuse for ignorance and no longer are we confined to our own cultures.
It is as global culture we live in today, the internet, the media, the music, the traveling everything!! The world is like a worn- out quilt made of different of patches, still one piece with little patches mending it each time it tears, just like a scene from an airplane window minutes before it lands.
She belongs to the world and all she represents is her humanity. “Know your limitations, know your size in this world” he says, “You are insignificant, and nothing you say or do can move this world an inch, grow up and stop dreaming.” How dare he? How dare he crush her just like that? She has been raised to know that nothing is impossible, that she can make a difference and that she can , if she puts her mind to it and will change the world. In fact, she believes it is a calling, a responsibility. She was born for this, If not her then who? Who will bridge between the East and West? Who will make each side understand the other and work around their differences? Who will fill the gap? Having lived half her life in the east and the other half in the west, is there anyone else who can represent an understanding of both worlds? Her blood is half east and half west; she was conceived to be a hero.
How can he just brush her ambitions aside? “Honey it is for your own good, I don’t want you to be disappointed in the end” he continues “I love you and I just want to protect you” “protect me? Protect me from what?” She wonders to herself, how can she live with someone who doesn’t believe in her? Worst of all, how can she protect him from himself? Hope can’t be killed, hope must go on or we will die. She lashes out and accuses him of being narrow minded and a coward, it happens every time, they try to have a civilized conversation about anything outside of their daily life, outside of the house, the kids and the kitchen , he brings her back to reality like a slap in the face , she wants to talk about the War in Iraq, the US politics, Religious misunderstandings, but he thinks she is just a woman, made of emotions and less mind. This is her life, this is what she chose. She must either change him or leave him or then she will lose herself. The whole scenario keeps on repeating itself like a poker game stopping at “I know better, you are just a mislead sheep ling “if only he knew he was the one mislead “she takes a deep breath, She pities him and loves him at the same time. She can’t stand him but she can’t live 10 minutes with out him.
Why then? Why do they allow world politics to ruin their relationship? Should she be less sensitive? Is it really none of her business? Should she just live her life not caring? Give up her dream? What about their children? What kind of world will they live in? She can’t! that is not the way she built herself!!! She needs to at least try, she wants a better world! She needs to fix it, and it is people like him, who make it hard, why can’t they make a step? With love and forgiveness everything will be alright. It is not just a line from a song, it can happen , she knows it can , how can something so simple be so impossible to achieve?! It never was this hard! Was it him? Was it something else she doesn’t know about?
Sometimes she blames it on the place! It is too closed for anyone to think anything but what the media dictates. Maybe no one is to blame. Maybe if they moved to another country, he will see that the world is not a one big conspiracy and that he was wrong. Behind the leaders and politicians who mess up everything are normal people like him and her, with children and parents who just want to get by. What can she do? “We can’t change the world, but we can change ourselves.” she thinks, “all we need is communication, all we need is to accept people as they are “. We are all human, the world is in our hands and anywhere is just hours away if not instantly at our fingertips.” So where does she belong? She asks herself that question everyday, and everyday she finds a different answer, and every day she struggles so hard to defend the world. Every day before she goes to bed, and after he fills her head with doubts and fears, after they make up and scars build up. She smiles at him, tucks herself to bed, prays that God gives her the strength to fight another day , shuts her eyes and softly succumbs thinking … “I belong to you”.
But wait a minute maybe her mother will? A mother is a mother after all and her mother planned her life step by step starting from place of birth .That is just it! She can’t tell them, she could lose the only thing that might be right in her life and she can’t afford the risk of losing him. Yes, her mother will be devastated when she finds out that her worst nightmare has become a reality!! But she will get over it one day and her dad? Well he is a kind soul, mainly just existing and almost with no say on anything, whatever mom says is probably what goes in the end so what is the use?!
It is a matter of where she belongs. Where does she belong? There has never been a harder situation on earth, Arabia and the West. The conflict is at its peak these days and there is no escape from that. A choice has to be made and her heart is hanging on to both worlds. “you must give something up” he firmly tells her, “You can’t keep both worlds, you will lose them both in the end” Choose what you think God wants for you and he will lead the way”. She chose what God wants a long time ago. In fact, it is now that she feels that she is so far from God. Could they be right? The friend she had, the constant companion she relied on in good and bad times, could it be true? That wasn’t God? Is God so hard to talk to? Does she have to go through so many rituals, find the perfect spot, dress a certain way, and wash a certain way to reach out to him? Was she being disrespectful and maybe a little proud when she just cried out for God in the wrong places? Where does she belong? Why is she alone now? She closes her eyes and drifts in the past, to a happier place where things were simple and life was good.
Was she living a lie? Or is she just wiser now? Seems like the older you grow the more you belong to more things and the more complicated it gets, Where were the days when she belonged to her family, her college, her class, her friends? 6 years ago she would jump for an atlas each time somebody asked her where she was from and proudly point to the Arabian Peninsula , recite a little Arabic while everyone would listen in owe trying so hard to imitate her , she would tell stories of a thousand and one nights , ones that her Grandmother used to tell her before she went to bed, her audience marveled at the beauty and mystery of the east . She was a smart child; she would geographically track civilization’s history from the Hanging Garden’s of Babylon to the pyramids of Egypt. Where is that little girl? How could she leave her? The only source of freedom and joy is now dying. She needs her back! But how can she bring her back? It is just too sad in her world now; she herself would feel sorry for the little girl if she comes back. Maybe he is right; she needs to toughen up that little girl. Things are different now, instead of telling stories about Aladdin and Jasmine, people are attacking her with stories of Bin Laden and Terror , More frequent than not she finds her self amidst talk that is bigger than her, bigger than she can handle, why are there wars? Why is there hate? Why? Why? So many questions, but who can answer? Her mother says it is hopeless, her father says it is all politics , but she thinks it is all in their minds and longs to go back where sex, race and religion don’t matter. Were we are all citizens of the world and all we want is to live and let live . Humanity is the common denominator. How Simple!!! Why doesn’t the world get it?!?! She just can’t figure it out.
All she knows is that no longer do maps and boarders define people’s limitations, no longer is language an excuse for ignorance and no longer are we confined to our own cultures.
It is as global culture we live in today, the internet, the media, the music, the traveling everything!! The world is like a worn- out quilt made of different of patches, still one piece with little patches mending it each time it tears, just like a scene from an airplane window minutes before it lands.
She belongs to the world and all she represents is her humanity. “Know your limitations, know your size in this world” he says, “You are insignificant, and nothing you say or do can move this world an inch, grow up and stop dreaming.” How dare he? How dare he crush her just like that? She has been raised to know that nothing is impossible, that she can make a difference and that she can , if she puts her mind to it and will change the world. In fact, she believes it is a calling, a responsibility. She was born for this, If not her then who? Who will bridge between the East and West? Who will make each side understand the other and work around their differences? Who will fill the gap? Having lived half her life in the east and the other half in the west, is there anyone else who can represent an understanding of both worlds? Her blood is half east and half west; she was conceived to be a hero.
How can he just brush her ambitions aside? “Honey it is for your own good, I don’t want you to be disappointed in the end” he continues “I love you and I just want to protect you” “protect me? Protect me from what?” She wonders to herself, how can she live with someone who doesn’t believe in her? Worst of all, how can she protect him from himself? Hope can’t be killed, hope must go on or we will die. She lashes out and accuses him of being narrow minded and a coward, it happens every time, they try to have a civilized conversation about anything outside of their daily life, outside of the house, the kids and the kitchen , he brings her back to reality like a slap in the face , she wants to talk about the War in Iraq, the US politics, Religious misunderstandings, but he thinks she is just a woman, made of emotions and less mind. This is her life, this is what she chose. She must either change him or leave him or then she will lose herself. The whole scenario keeps on repeating itself like a poker game stopping at “I know better, you are just a mislead sheep ling “if only he knew he was the one mislead “she takes a deep breath, She pities him and loves him at the same time. She can’t stand him but she can’t live 10 minutes with out him.
Why then? Why do they allow world politics to ruin their relationship? Should she be less sensitive? Is it really none of her business? Should she just live her life not caring? Give up her dream? What about their children? What kind of world will they live in? She can’t! that is not the way she built herself!!! She needs to at least try, she wants a better world! She needs to fix it, and it is people like him, who make it hard, why can’t they make a step? With love and forgiveness everything will be alright. It is not just a line from a song, it can happen , she knows it can , how can something so simple be so impossible to achieve?! It never was this hard! Was it him? Was it something else she doesn’t know about?
Sometimes she blames it on the place! It is too closed for anyone to think anything but what the media dictates. Maybe no one is to blame. Maybe if they moved to another country, he will see that the world is not a one big conspiracy and that he was wrong. Behind the leaders and politicians who mess up everything are normal people like him and her, with children and parents who just want to get by. What can she do? “We can’t change the world, but we can change ourselves.” she thinks, “all we need is communication, all we need is to accept people as they are “. We are all human, the world is in our hands and anywhere is just hours away if not instantly at our fingertips.” So where does she belong? She asks herself that question everyday, and everyday she finds a different answer, and every day she struggles so hard to defend the world. Every day before she goes to bed, and after he fills her head with doubts and fears, after they make up and scars build up. She smiles at him, tucks herself to bed, prays that God gives her the strength to fight another day , shuts her eyes and softly succumbs thinking … “I belong to you”.
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